imperturbatus | It's Gareki's turn

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It's Gareki's turn

[ The night had been agonizing in one way or another. From teenaged hormonal libido to the humiliation of everyone in Ravenclaw finding out about Rin sneaking into the tower. The only thing he can be glad about is that none of the professors found out.

Yet.

But with the way everyone's spreading the word, it's only a matter of time. Gareki can kiss his free time goodbye soon, he's sure of it. So instead of going into the Great Hall, where he's also sure that he'll get stared at by everyone and talked about IN FRONT OF himself... He skips breakfast.

Instead, he stays at the scene of the crime (his bed), where a vote has been made to strip his bunk of the curtains so last night would never happen again.

Gareki, good student and someone who preferred to keep his head down, is now notorious for a love life he's still not sure he even had at the moment. How about that shit.

He spends the morning in his bunk with his mechanics book. When he ventures out of the tower into the rest of the school, he gives anyone who so much as looks at him a murderous glare. But he doesn't stay in Hogwarts for long. Instead, he makes a b-line for the sanctuary that was Hogsmeade. Away from a majority of stupid people looking at him like some god damn horny rule breaker.

There's a book in his hand, butterbeer on the table in front of him, and he's nicely tucked into a corner of the Hogs Head. Here, he hopes to take comfort in the fact that only the bravest of souls decide to visit. ]

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No. But I damn well might think about sneaking into the forest.

[ Good call on not asking. He'd have shoved his phone down Yogi's throat the moment he saw him. That's not the kind of shit you ask someone, and definitely not over technology. ]

Stop playing 20 questions and either just get here or leave me alone already.

That's dangerous! x_x

[Once he knows that Gareki is nowhere even close to the school Yogi's already gotten up from his seat and out of the Great Hall. There's only one place left Gareki could be - if he stayed in the area and didn't just floo over to London. Yogi's afraid he might have.]

On my way :D Are you in Hogsmeade? Three Broomsticks?

I'm not answering that. Use your god damn head for once!

What's that supposed to mean?!

[Yogi exclaims and pouts. He IS using his head, he's trying to figure ot where Gareki is! Mouuu...]

You're mean! T_T

[He sends, but then tries to think what's the likeliest place in Hogsmeade for Gareki to go. He didn't say no to 3 Broomsticks, so maybe he's really there. But Gareki didn't really like 3 Broomsticks, did he? He always said it was loud. Maybe he's holed in a book store. Book stores are quiet and Gareki likes books. Or someplace with stuff to tinker with.]

Tomes and Scrolls? Dervish and Bangs?

[Once he's out of the castle Yogi starts runnig. The earlier he gets there, the better.]

[ This time there are no texts back. No indication of where Gareki would be. Just the quiet snick of his phone going to sleep and him pointedly ignoring any other texts Yogi would probably send to ask him more questions. Maybe he wanted to talk, get a distraction from everything, but he also didn't want to make it too easy. He still wanted to be alone. It was such a complicated contradiction that he didn't like.

So he stays in his corner of the Hogs Head, back against the booth as he props his head up with his hand. Life was a lot more complicated now than it used to be. What the hell. ]

[Yogi arrives in Hogsmeade panting for breath and looks around. Gareki was't answering again and Yogi run out options to ask. He passes the 3 Broomsticks and sticks his head in, just to make sure, but as expected, Gareki is nowhere to be seen. The inn is in fact as loud as the Great Hall had been ad Yogi leaves again. He jogs down the street, looking around for some sort of clue, when he passes one of the narrow, secluded alleys and his eyes fall on the Hog's Head.

He blinks.

It's a quiet place, Yogi's heard, but he's ever been there, because it seemed to be a dark place. But it's the last remaining place that Gareki could be, so he enters, still slightly out of breath.]

Oh thank Merlin's grace!

[He almost breaks out in tears, from the sheer relief that he's found his best friend, and runs up to him, to give him a tight hug.]

Gareki! I was so worried....

[ The sad truth is that he should have known that Yogi was going to go into full blown idiot by hugging him. Gareki didn't want to be touched, didn't want physical affection because that's what got him into this mess in the first place. His hands instantly move up to push at Yogi, lips curling into a scowl. His voice is more of a growl than a greeting, an explosion of anger. ]

Get the hell off of me, you idiot!

[Yogi, with years of training and experience of having Gareki push and struggle against him, is not that easy to shake off. Gareki looks like he needs a hug very badly, so Yogi is giving it to him. Only after a few moments does he pull away, but not letting go completely, hands still holding Gareki's arms.]

What happened?

[Genuine worry is seeping into his tone, worried about everything that happened to his friend.]

[ The question was something that he knew would come. Yogi was predictable, with a million different questions for things. A million more he wanted answered. But instead of continuing to push at his best friend to peel him off, he sags. Though he's still scowling, deeply in fact, he looks away from Yogi instead.

Years of friendship with Yogi prepared him to just accept when he wouldn't leave him alone. He still wanted to fight, to bat him away, but he's guilty now. If he doesn't actually talk he's pretty sure his best friend will think he's the biggest pervert in the world. ]

I told you [ It comes out as another growl, though far less heated than before. ] Rin's an idiot. Took his bloody broom up to the tower, and so he didn't freeze I helped him inside. I should have told the shitty redhead to go back to his room.

[ He's back to pushing at Yogi to get off of him again. Just... give him some damn space. ]

[Yogi quietly listens, hating how defeated and lifeless his friend looks at that moment. It confirms some of the things Yogi's heard, but it doesn't really answer anything.]

Why would he even do something like that?

[He immediately regrets that question, for how stupid it is. It should be obvious why, right? People in relationships did that. He knows that. It's completely okay too, he tells himself and tries not to blush. But was it necessary to break the rules for it? Gareki pushes against him again, but it doesn't have the usual spitfire quality and Yogi hates it. With a sigh he lets his hands fall to his lap, but doesn't budge an inch front where he's sitting.]

How much trouble are you in?

[That's really all he's concerned about. Well, that and Gareki's mood. He hates it when Gareki's sad.]

[ Thank you. That's what he wants to say to Yogi finally letting him go, but he doesn't. Instead, he leans away from Yogi and tries to relax. The tenseness of his shoulders and the clench of his jaw probably give that away, considering his poor mood.

Why would he do something like that?

Stupid or not, Gareki had been somewhat glad to see his boyfriend regardless of rule breaking. And, weirdly enough, he feels like he's betrayed his house. Not because of being caught, but because he should have been smart enough not to get caught. ]

I'm not a pervert, Yogi. I thought we were just going to lay down together...

[ His fist balled up tight and pounded lightly on the tabletop. It sent his barely touched butterbeer jumping, spilling a little onto the table. ]

Cocky bastard planned it, though. I'm not even sure how I let him get away with it! But Christ, what they say is true about things leading from one thing to another...

[ He finally looked back up at Yogi, feeling really guilty and ridiculous. Like he'd lost some IQ points. ]

Don't get into a relationship... It'll make you stupid. I might have to break up with him so I stop making dumb choices and get my sanity back. I hate how kissing him makes me feel.

[ Except he doesn't. He likes how kissing Rin makes him feel, he likes how Rin's hands on him feel. He likes how Rin doesn't make him feel alone. It's just his anger talking. His disappointment in himself and how utterly fucked he feels because both him and Rin were the talk of the school. Two horny teenagers who couldn't keep it in their pants, caught by some nebby nosed blonde who couldn't keep his nose out of his business, even when they'd charmed the curtains so they wouldn't be caught. ]

[Yogi flinches when Gareki bangs his fist on the table and takes it in his hands, less his friend break something and be even more miserable.]

Hey, hey calm down...

[He tries to keep his voice as low and even as possible, even though he can hear it jump on the first 'hey'. It's always scary when Gareki flips out, but Yogi won't pull away just because of that. He strokes Gareki's hand with his thumb, wondering what he should say. It seems the two got carried away, but he doesn't think they did anything too bad. He also doesn't believe for a second Gareki wants to break up with Rin, or hates kissing him.]

You didn't do anything wrong. You like each other, right? Of course you want to be together and do stuff... [Not that he would know... But it's how he imagines it, at least.] And Rin must really like you a lot, if he wanted to be with you that much to break into the tower. It just... didn't work out.

[A sad smile crosses his features, when Gareki tells him not to get into a relationship and for a moment he looks down.]

That's not very likely to happen to me anytime soon, Gareki...

[Given everything. Yogi really can't imagine how anyone would want him, as he is. The thought is nice, but he doesn't really think it would end well, once he told them... He shakes his head. They aren't talking about him. They are talking about Gareki and Rin. Yogi's face falls, when Gareki tells him he might break up with Rin. He doesn't think that's right. He doesn't think Gareki wants it and he wants to tell his friend not to, but he knows it's not really his place. What Gareki does, is Gareki's decision, but Yogi knows his friend has been happy. He'd seen it on Halloween. And just as Gareki helped him that night, Yogi wants to help his friend now. Even if he has no idea how.]

How does kissing him make you feel?

[ He can't help but feel a little more guilty for Yogi telling him it wouldn't happen any time soon for him. Not that he says anything about it, nor does he take his hands away. Normally he might have ripped them from Yogi's grip because he didn't need coddled, but it was far better holding his hands than practically snuggling him. He also sort of thought it might help apologize for telling him not to get into a relationship. ]

Damn right it didn't work out. Because some nebby nosed blockhead thought he'd try helping with a fever that wasn't even there to begin with!

[ Another day he might have been grateful to Kenya for trying (not that he'd show it) but he told the guy to piss off more than once. He as almost as persistent as Yogi!

Which only seemed to make him more aware that he was angry about everything. About Rin being a coward not once, but twice. He was angry about Kenya sticking his nose into someone else's business. Aggravated by his own hormones and letting things get out of hand. Enraged by every bloody Ravenclaw now knowing what Rin and himself got up to in their relationship. But worse still was knowing that he wanted it as much as he had, and became frustrated and angry that they'd gotten so close before they were discovered. ]

He just ripped the curtains open and let out a banshee cry that woke the whole bloody dorm up.

[ Notice that he's not talking about how kissing Rin makes him feel. It's too personal, too deep. Too vulnerable. ]

All of them. Then Rin left me to clean the mess he started up by myself, the shitty bastard! I hope he's suffering in the Great Hall this morning. He deserves it!

[Honestly, there is a part of Yogi that envies Gareki for what his friend has got, but mostly Yogi has been just happy for him. There's no need for the both of them to spend their lifetime alone and Gareki deserves to be happy. Which is why Yogi can't let him run away from his happiness, at the first sight of trouble.

But that would explain, why Oshitari had been another frequently mentioned name. Yogi just smiles, when he hears what happened. It's unfortunate, but it's really not anyone's fault. ... Well, maybe Rin's for being a little overzealous (not that Yogi has any room to say that), but if he apologizes and sets things right - which Yogi is sure he will - it all will be fine again.]

Don't be too angry at him, okay? He only did, what he thought was right. If I was in his place, I'd have done the same.

[But when banshee comparisons appear, Yogi's eyes widen to saucers and he stutters, because...]

Ban... Banshee? That... must have been really loud...

[At the mention of Rin though, Yogi smiles again, this time a bit awkwardly. He knows gareki doesn't mean what he's saying, that he'd never wish Rin really ill, so he decides to report what he saw.]

Well... He did look rather sad this morning. He seemed like he was in a lot of pain. Kept yelling at people.

Good.

[ Sadly, he does mean it. He hopes Rin suffers for leaving him to settle the dorm down and clean the mess he left Gareki with. Maybe ramming his head against something will have knocked some sense into him?

Okay, no. He didn't want Rin to suffer pain. Humiliation, yes. Enough to equal Gareki's from the night before and the fact he can't even show his face in the school today without the threat of murdering someone. But he thought it was perfectly fine to be pissed off at his boyfriend and Kenya. It was reasonable. They both caused him a headache of his own. ]

I'm going to kick his ass when I'm not so sure I'll murder him first.

[ Of course... Not really. He didn't actually mean he would kill Rin (or Kenya). It's just his temper talking. But there WILL be retribution. ]

You don't mean that.

[No, Yogi doesn't believe Gareki really wants Rin to suffer. His friend is upset and angry and maybe wishes all the evil on his boyfriend right now, but if it really happened, Gareki would be the last to be happy about it. Because no matter how hard Gareki's shell is, Yogi knows the Ravenclaw cares deeply about those dear to him. As for the other thing...]

Say, Gareki? If you really wanna break up with him, do want to because you don't love him anymore, or because you're scared to love him?

[It's not Yogi's place to tell Gareki what to do and it's not his intention to do so either. If Gareki wants to end his relationship with Rin, it's Gareki's choice. But Yogi thinks it would be a pity, if he did that. Because his best friend has spent a huge amount of time hiding in his shell and Yogi wants to see him happy. Gareki finally found someone to care about him deeply, it would be a shame if they broke up, only because it moved Gareki.]

It's okay, if you break up, for either reason, I'm not telling you not to do it. But I think... I think you are happy for once, and it would... it would be a shame if you ran away from that.

[ Yogi's question steals the anger right out of him. He's robbed of every last ounce of it, so thrown off by Yogi in a way that was not very typical to their friendship or Gareki at all. His jaw is slack, but he quickly snaps it shut and retreats into himself when he could get ahold of himself enough to do it. His eyes cast to the side, avoiding his best friend's gaze.

Love.

Fear.

Was a hooligan like himself really so deserving of the things Yogi was talking about? He'd never given it thought before. Never thought of building love, even though he was in this relationship with a great person. It always seemed like an ideal that his personality could never achieve. But here his best friend was, planting the seeds that he could have that.

The short answer was that he hadn't thought about falling in love before. The long one was that no, he wasn't afraid of loving or being loved. Not really. But after being abandoned by his own parents, people who were supposed to love him, he'd created the bubble that was still around him now. Did he deserve love? Did he want to give it, knowing his heart could be broken into a million tiny pieces and scattered around like it didn't matter? Even his adoptive siblings were held at an arms length, but there Rin was in the center of it all...

And suddenly he realized that he actually was falling in love. There was no other excuse for allowing himself to be so stupid in the dorm. For allowing Rin to touch him the way he had or pull so much desire from him with just a kiss. He wanted Rin. He wanted to be with Rin. He liked sitting at the Slytherin table and conversing with Rin.

Gareki's head moves into his hands, fingers massaging his temples with a pained groan. ]

When did you get so god damn perceptive?

[ It's a grunt, annoyed but still keeping his gaze away from Yogi. ]

Obviously I'm not going to break up with him, you idiot. And if I did it wouldn't be because I was scared or in love, it would be because he makes my life complicated.

Huh? What do you mean by that?

[The reply confuses Yogi. He's just asked a simple question, what's there to groan about. He sighs at his best friend and the times the guy makes no sense at all. Maybe it's a Ravenclaw thing?

But when he hears, that Gareki isn't intending to break up with Rin, his face brightens again.]

That's good. I'm glad. You shouldn't break up even then, though. That something is complicated doesn't mean it can't be worth it.

[He startles a little, when he says it, because it also sounds like the answer to one of his own issues. His life feels very complicated now too, and it could become more complicated. He wasn't sure he wanted that until now, but... What if it's more than worth it? He should at least try, right?]

That's right. You need to fight for the things you care about. That's it. That's all there is to it.

[ Gareki finally looks at Yogi again, his features twisted into a dirty look that said everything he wanted to say. But because he was talking to Yogi, he elaborates anyway. ]

Say that when you're in the middle of a scandal and your sex life is all the school can talk about.

[ He huffs softly and grabs his butterbeer, taking a sip from the cup.

Complicated means taking his eyes off of other things that could be important. Like education. Learning. Reading about everything ever to find out as much as he possibly could about the world. He doesn't like making dumb decisions because they always come to bite him on the ass. A fantastic case in point is allowing Rin to sneak into the dorm.

But he wouldn't be Gareki if he didn't seem to see the cogs of Yogi's brain working like a well oiled machine. There was something in his voice that he caught, and it was a lot like when he felt something was bothering Yogi. There was just something different. Obvious. And honestly, he's glad to pull the attention from himself. ]

You sound like you're talking to yourself. Something happen?

My se- ... GAREKI!

[After a heartbeat of shock, Yogi's face turns bright red. His se... Really, his friend has such a dirty mouth sometimes! He ducks his head between the shoulders, thinking of how mortifying that would be. No wonder Gareki is hiding in the Hog's Head. Still... it must be nice. ... Not the scandal! Having someone.]

Like that will happen anytime soon...

[He mutters and hopes it doesn't sound envious, or anything. Then Gareki would definitely declare him insane. The question startles him out of it however, catching him by surprise.]

Uh... Not really.

[He scratches the back of his head in embarrassment over being caught in thought like that.]

Nothing you don't know about.

[It's true, Gareki was the first one to know about this particular issue. It's just Yogi's hesitation that it's still ongoing.]

Just trying to come to a decision, that's all.

It's better that way.

[ Gareki's still not seeing the benefit of having a sex life himself. Maybe that would change once he finally got off. But Yogi being caught with someone with having relations with someone? That would probably be seen as normal. It wasn't hard for Gareki to imagine his best friend falling for someone. The difficult part was watching him not struggle with knowing that he had. ]

What is there to decide?

[ He's leaning his head against his palm, elbow rested on the table. Somehow they slipped into normalcy and the anger he'd been holding onto disappeared. It would probably be back when he had to make his trek back to the school, but for now... It was nice to be back to how things usually were. ]

[Yogi isn't so sure about that, but arguing about it would lead them only to a mute point and Yogi doesn't want to argue with Gareki. He just wishes he could be normal. It would all be so much easier, if he was. Every trouble would be worth not spending his life alone. He's still not arguing with Gareki, he hates arguments.]

It's just... Hirato is mute as always, so...

[He says after sighing, thinking about how to put it best.]

I thought maybe I should look for answers myself. But I still don't know if it's the right thing to do, or if I even want to.

That shitty glasses probably wouldn't tell you if you had something stuck in your teeth. Do you really expect him to say something important?

[ Gareki really has no love for Hirato. At all. Maybe in the capacity that he was glad he was a decent provider, but that was as far as it went. ]

I can't tell you what to do, but it might be worth finding out why seeing your parents made you such a mess.

[Well, he didn't tell Tsukitachi that one time he had dried paint on his nose and Tsukitachi didn't find out until Yogi asked about it, so Gareki isn't wrong, but the reasons are probably different. Probably. Hopefully.]

They're just worried. And maybe a little scared.

[If he fostered a child, who wold grow up and then tell him, they want to know where they came from and will go find out, he'd be scared as well.]

I still don't remember anything, but... I feel like there's something lurking at the back of my mind and I won't be at peace until I know what it is...

Then doesn't that answer your problem?

[ Why fight against it if there was no finding peace? Gareki felt fortunate that he didn't have that kind of problem. It wasn't as if his own past didn't affect him, but he moved beyond it and relied on himself when important things sprang up.

Yogi... Yogi was different, though. He had support coming out of his ears. ]

It's Gareki's turn

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