imperturbatus | It's Gareki's turn

[ The night had been agonizing in one way or another. From teenaged hormonal libido to the humiliation of everyone in Ravenclaw finding out about Rin sneaking into the tower. The only thing he can be glad about is that none of the professors found out.

Yet.

But with the way everyone's spreading the word, it's only a matter of time. Gareki can kiss his free time goodbye soon, he's sure of it. So instead of going into the Great Hall, where he's also sure that he'll get stared at by everyone and talked about IN FRONT OF himself... He skips breakfast.

Instead, he stays at the scene of the crime (his bed), where a vote has been made to strip his bunk of the curtains so last night would never happen again.

Gareki, good student and someone who preferred to keep his head down, is now notorious for a love life he's still not sure he even had at the moment. How about that shit.

He spends the morning in his bunk with his mechanics book. When he ventures out of the tower into the rest of the school, he gives anyone who so much as looks at him a murderous glare. But he doesn't stay in Hogwarts for long. Instead, he makes a b-line for the sanctuary that was Hogsmeade. Away from a majority of stupid people looking at him like some god damn horny rule breaker.

There's a book in his hand, butterbeer on the table in front of him, and he's nicely tucked into a corner of the Hogs Head. Here, he hopes to take comfort in the fact that only the bravest of souls decide to visit. ]

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It's better that way.

[ Gareki's still not seeing the benefit of having a sex life himself. Maybe that would change once he finally got off. But Yogi being caught with someone with having relations with someone? That would probably be seen as normal. It wasn't hard for Gareki to imagine his best friend falling for someone. The difficult part was watching him not struggle with knowing that he had. ]

What is there to decide?

[ He's leaning his head against his palm, elbow rested on the table. Somehow they slipped into normalcy and the anger he'd been holding onto disappeared. It would probably be back when he had to make his trek back to the school, but for now... It was nice to be back to how things usually were. ]

[Yogi isn't so sure about that, but arguing about it would lead them only to a mute point and Yogi doesn't want to argue with Gareki. He just wishes he could be normal. It would all be so much easier, if he was. Every trouble would be worth not spending his life alone. He's still not arguing with Gareki, he hates arguments.]

It's just... Hirato is mute as always, so...

[He says after sighing, thinking about how to put it best.]

I thought maybe I should look for answers myself. But I still don't know if it's the right thing to do, or if I even want to.

That shitty glasses probably wouldn't tell you if you had something stuck in your teeth. Do you really expect him to say something important?

[ Gareki really has no love for Hirato. At all. Maybe in the capacity that he was glad he was a decent provider, but that was as far as it went. ]

I can't tell you what to do, but it might be worth finding out why seeing your parents made you such a mess.

[Well, he didn't tell Tsukitachi that one time he had dried paint on his nose and Tsukitachi didn't find out until Yogi asked about it, so Gareki isn't wrong, but the reasons are probably different. Probably. Hopefully.]

They're just worried. And maybe a little scared.

[If he fostered a child, who wold grow up and then tell him, they want to know where they came from and will go find out, he'd be scared as well.]

I still don't remember anything, but... I feel like there's something lurking at the back of my mind and I won't be at peace until I know what it is...

Then doesn't that answer your problem?

[ Why fight against it if there was no finding peace? Gareki felt fortunate that he didn't have that kind of problem. It wasn't as if his own past didn't affect him, but he moved beyond it and relied on himself when important things sprang up.

Yogi... Yogi was different, though. He had support coming out of his ears. ]

Maybe... I still don't know if I want to know though... I need to figure that out.

[He suddenly realizes how little sense he's making. First he says he won't be at peace unless he knows, then he's claiming he's not sure if he wants to know. He scratches his cheek and gives Gareki an apologetic smile.]

I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense. I... I'm scared how things will change, once I go down this road. I don't realy want anything to change.

Tough shit.

[ It's said in a kind of cold manner, but he's looking directly at Yogi when he says it. Full of honesty. ]

Things change all the time whether you like it or not. You're graduating this year, so next will be a big one. If you're going to find out anything about your parents, now's a better chance than after you graduate.

[Yogi sighs. 'Tough'... touch sounds like the right word for it, Yogi concludes. His best friend is probably right with everything else he's saying too, he knows it deep inside.]

Maybe...

[There's no library like the one Hogwarts within apparition range that he'd know of. The next best place to find out anything would be Iceland, his birthplace, and he's not getting there anytime soon. Maybe the summer... He shakes his head.]

You're right.

[Still not changing the fact, that he feels scared. With another sigh he leans his head against Gareki's shoulder, thinking of graduation and the changes awaiting him.]

I hate it when things change. I want things to stay the way they are. If everyone is happy, why should it be necessary for something to change?

[He knows he's whining, being childish, but he can't help it. He loves being in Hogwarts, with his friends, living with Hirato and Tsukitachi, with not care in the world. But now, with the approaching graduation, things have gotten much scarier.]

If you went to muggle school, there would be a way to flunk and stay back.

[ Gareki doesn't move, but his words sound like they're shrugging for him. ]

But that wouldn't change anything. You would still graduate one day and we'll all go our own way. At least in this world there are easier ways to visit each other.

[There's a good point in there, Yogi thinks and smiles.]

I guess so.

[He raises his head and looks at Gareki again with a bright expression.]

And thanks to you talking has become much easier as well.

[His smile turns softer again.]

Thanks for listening. And don't worry about what happened with Rin. It's all gonna work out.

[ Gareki hums noncommittally to Yogi's optimism about Rin and himself. He's sure it will, it was just annoying at the moment. Instead, he lets his hand gently drop to the top of the table, moving to take a sip of his butterbeer. ]

Just let me know if you need help with anything.

It's Gareki's turn

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