Harada Sano (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fireredspear) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
imperturbatus2016-10-04 02:05 pm
fireredspear) wrote in imperturbatus2016-10-04 02:05 pm
15th Flight are Beginnings, Endings and Change
Mornings
[It's been a month since the start of the new term and so far, about nothing has stayed the same. A lot of teachers have quit over the summer, and well... The castle seemed far emptier now. Especially so in the early mornings, when he took his jog. Eerily silent, empty and cold, but that might have been the weather. A year ago the silence has been a comfort to Sano, a time when he could rest his mind and work his body, away from the usual rush. Now it just made him feel strangely alone. Which is why he's always happy when people join him on his run, or he'll take a stop when he sees an early bird, or the lights in the groundkeeper's hut still flicker. If it's just him trying to chase his ghosts away, well... No one has to know that.]
Days
[The days are now as uneventful as mornings. There's either afternoon class, or a morning class, or a house quidditch team practice, which are usually fun, but not as they used to be. He's enjoying them for the most part, but he thinks he catches a few students - especially the older ones - giving him a strange look. Not that it's a secret what happened. A lot of teachers left over the summer. A lot.
He usually just gives them a smile in turn and soldiers through the training with the usual practiced energy and zeal.
He decidedly ignores that part of his heart, that feels empty.]
Evenings
[Evenings are the worst. He used to love evenings, for the company he usually spent them in and the fun he had at this time of the day, but with almost everyone gone...
He spends a lot more time in Hog's head than he used to, that is, if he bothers to take the walk at all. Usually he just nurses his own whiskey and his own glass, in his own room. If there's a student knocking on his door late at night, it's always open, but he suspects the room seems less warm than it used to be.
But that might be just him.]
[It's been a month since the start of the new term and so far, about nothing has stayed the same. A lot of teachers have quit over the summer, and well... The castle seemed far emptier now. Especially so in the early mornings, when he took his jog. Eerily silent, empty and cold, but that might have been the weather. A year ago the silence has been a comfort to Sano, a time when he could rest his mind and work his body, away from the usual rush. Now it just made him feel strangely alone. Which is why he's always happy when people join him on his run, or he'll take a stop when he sees an early bird, or the lights in the groundkeeper's hut still flicker. If it's just him trying to chase his ghosts away, well... No one has to know that.]
Days
[The days are now as uneventful as mornings. There's either afternoon class, or a morning class, or a house quidditch team practice, which are usually fun, but not as they used to be. He's enjoying them for the most part, but he thinks he catches a few students - especially the older ones - giving him a strange look. Not that it's a secret what happened. A lot of teachers left over the summer. A lot.
He usually just gives them a smile in turn and soldiers through the training with the usual practiced energy and zeal.
He decidedly ignores that part of his heart, that feels empty.]
Evenings
[Evenings are the worst. He used to love evenings, for the company he usually spent them in and the fun he had at this time of the day, but with almost everyone gone...
He spends a lot more time in Hog's head than he used to, that is, if he bothers to take the walk at all. Usually he just nurses his own whiskey and his own glass, in his own room. If there's a student knocking on his door late at night, it's always open, but he suspects the room seems less warm than it used to be.
But that might be just him.]
Days
It's not a freaking man crush Rin, shut up.]Sano? Do you have time to talk?
no subject
So it's there where he is, sitting on one of the benches, waiting for everyone to collect, while he's trying to sort through his thoughts and get a hold of himself. He doesn't expect anyone to be this early, so he gives Sousuke a surprised look, when he hears the boy approach, but he welcoms the distraction and smiles.]
Yeah, sure. What's up?
no subject
[Distractions and good news. Though he does have plenty of worry inside his emotions - Sano could probably tell easily. That and embarrassment, thanks to Rin.]
no subject
[He asks with a half remorseful, half amused smirk. Definitely better than the one Sousuke had before, at least. After everything that happened, Sano has changed healers himself - not that it's helping him now, or makes a difference, - out of principle and because he doesn't really want to subject himself o a healer, who he knows manipulates results and can be bribed to harm his patient.
He can feel the shoulder is not the only thing why Sousuke approached him, but he doesn't open that discussion. Sousuke doesn't need his boatload atop of everything else.
He pats the seat next to him, in an invitation.]
So tell me. How are those pains?
no subject
[Sousuke takes the invitation and sits down.]
The pains are mostly gone. After practice, it still hurts a bit the more I work out, but if I keep it to normal amounts I will be fine. The general healing progress is going well as well.
no subject
[At least something's going right. Even if it's not in Sano's life directly, it feels good to know his favorite student is doing well. He chuckles at himself for playing favorites and turns to Sousuke.]
Take it easy, okay? You don't want to overtrain again. Even magically healed injuries are prone to returning, if you don't take good care of yourself. Even if they can be healed, it's a pain to deal with them and they do knock you out for a while.
no subject
[That's at least a lesson well learned.]
Especially now when dad gave me an official permission to pursue the career. Not that I needed it, but still.
no subject
[He really intends to sound cheerful and positive, and happy for Sousuke, because all of it is great, but what comes out is nothing but a pathetic attempt. His voice is too quiet and not cheerful at all. No, it's sad instead and Sano punches himself internally for it. He's supposed to maintain at least a shred of dignity in front of a student. But then again, the wound is still too fresh, and it might not come to anyone's surprise, that he's hurt. He decides one slip up won't kill anyone, but still he decides that trying to divert the attention from it is the best option.]
It's better to not burn any bridges, even as you go after your dreams. You never know when you need to cross it again.
Evenings | for something completely different
By breather, he means alcohol. Which is rare for him, but this is just that bad.
Under normal circumstances he'd likely figure out who Sano is, but now he doesn't really care or think it matters, since he ain't a Quidditch player.]
no subject
There's that, and of course, it's hard to forget the boy by the sheer amount of howlers that landed at the Hufflepuff table this month alone. There are actual bets on when the next one will arrive.
Thus, when he sees the kid order a drink, he understands. He remembers the amount of howlers he got between his 5th and 7th years. He gets it. He also gets needing a drink badly. He just thinks it's sad someone so young would get in the situation where they need one, but then again, not like he has any room to talk. He had his first drink much, much earlier.
So when the bartender gives the kid quizzical look, Sano just waves his hand.]
Come on, let the kid have some outlet. Not like you hesitated to pour me, when I first visited.
And you are a teacher?
Instructor, that's different. Now shut up and pour.
[The bartender scoffs at him, but pours them - because Sano managed to finish his drink in the meantime - while the redheaded instructor looks at the kid.]
Bit early an age to be needing a drink. Must be hell of a trouble you're in.
no subject
I don't plan on making a habit out of this... but the pressure is getting harder to deal with.
[His sister was just too stubborn about all of this. How she hadn't already told their parents where he was was a mystery.]
no subject
Yeah, I heard the howlers. Wanna talk about it? I know a thing or two about pressure.
[His darling mother isn't really better, but at least she hasn't sent that particular kind of letter in a while.]
And while alcohol loosens you up and helps you relax, it really doesn't make it better. If you overuse it, things actually become worse. So, careful with that.
no subject
[Not that he regrets it. He never will regret it. He's just... tired of it being such a great issue. Why couldn't they just understand how he felt and leave him be?]
I'm aware of that, sir. I'll just rather feel numb right now than anything else.
no subject
I ran away too, yanno. Kinda. It was after school, but I just packed my bags and left, without even going home. Just got on me broom and straight to Japan. Took a week, but I had a nice trip. Maa still can't forgive me for that, or for failing NEWTs on purpose. Bottom line, all young people do dumb things.
[He clicks his glass against Shiraishi's.]
Also, skip the 'sir'. People who get drunk with me don't call me sir. So, from one dumb son to another. Home not a good place?
no subject
... how did he end up drinking with an instructor. Kenya will yell at him for this for sure.]
... the Shiraishi family old-fashioned. That means the oldest son of the family will be next head of the family. As it is, I'm the only son and they expect me to get married to a wealthy family they choose and start training to become the head. That's why I ran, last year. I didn't want that.
[He's interested in medicine and plants that go into them, as well as many other plants, but he's not interested in being the family head.]
My elder sister would be a lot better head. She's the one sending all the howlers...
no subject
Sounds tough.
[He says in the end, because he doesn't want to be silent for too long.]
No surprise you ran, I would have done the same. It's important you follow your own ideals and pursue your own dreams, chose your own path. But from experience? Burning bridges ain't a good thing to do. It usually comes with a big price, and usually people end up regretting it, one day.
[As Sano used to think that burning eery bridge is the only possible way to attain what he wanted. Which he had, sure. Except all he wants sometimes, is to turn back time and change the way he went about his decisions. It had cost him his family.]
There's only one family, you know.
no subject
[Even then his dad just... didn't listen. Just lectured.]
I guess I'll have to become a death eater or something to make them actually reject me.
no subject
Don't say stupid stuff like that.
[He removes his hand only to mind his glass again, staring at it with something dark in his gaze.]
Don't make joes about something you don't understand. You have no idea how dark those times were.
[Having been a child back then, Sano remembers only some of it, but he has two older siblings, one of which is a Squib, and the other started Hogwarts the same year Voldemort controlled it, and a Muggle father. He will never forget that horrible year where he had to deny half of his family.]
There's always a better solution to damning your life. Always.
no subject
... I'm sorry.
[There were several things he could have said, but not wanting to say vampire because that's touching too close to home base - even for a joke.]
I'm just not sure what to do at this point.
no subject
[Sano says after a thughtful pause, twirling his glass.]
If there's nothing you can do, then don't do anything. Do what you need to do, what makes you happy. It's your life and you have to live it for yourself, not for anyone else. All will come around when you do.
But you have to be open and sincere. Walk throughh the front door, not sneak out through the window. Wage diplomatics, not war. War is only good when you win it, but you have no chance of winning against your parents.