imperturbatus | [Closed] Realization (Sano & Ran)

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[Closed] Realization (Sano & Ran)

[An uneventful few days had passed since their spat and so far, neither had made the effort to approach the other. With how busy his days tended to get nowadays, Sano had avoided to think about it, intentionally letting the dust settle a little, before he would try to figure it out. But the times they were forced to spend in one room together, like the meals in the great hall, were awkward at best and damn weird at worst and people started noticing.

For the better, or the worst, they had to work it out soon.

So one night, as he was laying on his bed, already dressed to go to sleep, sipping on his 'cup before the bed', which was one of the finest Irish whiskeys, he let his mind take him back to that day, trying to figure out what had changed, or happened that could have affected Ran's mood like that.

First. What happened before she bumped into him? He remembered talking to Terra. Something about Quidditch... He faintly remembers them chatting about the game they'd been to recently together. She made a remark and he had laughed... Then he had said something back... She giggled... Ran bumped into him.

'Hmph!

What by Merlin's beard was so upsetting about Quidditch?

After that... he hadn't seen her until the evening, when she was practically spitting venom at him. Slowly the conversation replayed in his head.

'Oh you're definitely in your prime!'

'I bet you say it to all the girls...'

'Wait!'

Something about that conversation seemed so off and wrong, but he couldn't put his hands on it. Taking another sip of his whiskey, he continued to replay the memory in his head.

'Hmph!

What by Merlin's beard was so upsetting about Quidditch?

After that... he hadn't seen her until the evening, when she was practically spitting venom at him. Slowly the conversation replayed in his head.

'We're friends, aren't we!'

'Don't worry your pretty head over it.'

[...]

'We're not dating, so stay out of it!'

'Merlin's balls, I'm not stupid! Tell me what's wrong!'

Sano took another sip of his whiskey, hand threading through his hair, scratching his head. No matter how he twisted it and turned it, it didn't make sense. Ran had been acting unlike anytime before. It was almost like he hurt her by... well, just by being himself.

He couldn't believe that just talking to Terra about Quidditch made her...

Wait. WAIT.

The image of Terra giggling at his words jumps into his mind.

'Hmph!'

Him trying to compliment her.

'I bet you say that to all the girls.'

Him trying to pressure her into telling him.

'Don't worry your pretty head over it.'

'We're not dating!'

And last but not least, his own words fly through his head, loud like a crow's cry.

I'm not stupid!']

Harada Sanosuke, you're not stupid, you're bloody RETARDED!!!

[Jumping out of the bed, he pulls his sandals on hastily, not even bothering to change his clothes. There was no time for that. If it was true... If this was what he was thinking it was, then they had to talk immediately.

He had to know.

Bolting out of his room, he took three steps at once, ignoring the chilly air that the cold February night brought to the halls, hurrying to where he knew he'd find her at this time.]

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[ True to normal fashion, Rangiku was lounging in her own room at this time of night, but unlike usual she had taken work to bed with her. Ever since the night Sano and her had a confrontation, she'd been in a fairly busy body mood. It wasn't so bad when she had things to focus on, but when she stopped to remember how awkward everything was now, it hurt.

So, she sat in bed with the covers drawn over he lap and a teaching planner over it. So far, she'd managed to plan lessons for the next two weeks. In fact, she'd even been able to micro manage tutoring lessons for the students asking for extra help.

Why wasn't she drinking as much, you ask? Her best drinking pal was Sano and drinking made her feel the full weight of it all. It didn't help, it just made her sad.

However, as she's closing the planner and sliding it over, that's when she hears a knock at her door. She knows its late and only has to hope it's not a student getting her out of bed. As she climbs out of bed with a 'coming~', she grabs the sheer coat to her nighty and makes her way to the door, only to swing it open. The man on the other side, looking frantic, has her on her toes already. ]

Sano? Did something happen?

[ Because she didn't expect him. Especially not after the past several days, and the only reason she would think he showed up was if something actually did happen. ]

[He's breathing a little more noticeably, when she opens the door, having ran all the way there, still dressed in his kimono, with nothing more than a juban beneath it, but he doesn't care. He notices she's wearing the nighty he likes a lot, but never got around telling her that, but that's the last thing on his mind now. That's not the reason why he's come here and he's not sixteen to not be able to control himself.]

We need to talk.

[He announces, straightening himself and crossing his arms, to keep the warmth escaping from his body. He's a little sweaty after the run and thus more susceptible for being cold, but so far he can manage.]

I was thinking about what happened and I need to ask you something. It's important. May I?

[ She's hoping she doesn't visibly deflate as much as she feels she has. Something being wrong would probably be much more of a relief than what was about to happen, if 'we need to talk' was anything to go by. It's only further emphasized as Sano brings that up.

It's temping to shut the door in his face and ignore that he was behind it, but for as tempting as it was... Honestly, she'd had enough of their awkward encounters. So, she takes a deep breath in and opens the door wider for him.

Since she's a smart woman, she figures that he's finally pieced things together. ]

Come in and close the door behind you, you're letting the cold air in.

[ Turning, she seats herself on the edge of her bed, crossing one leg over the other. In fact, she even gently pats the bed beside herself as an open invitation despite the cold feeling in her gut.]

I think I know what you're going to say already... I'm sorry for getting angry at you.

[He steps into the warm room, following her in, hesitating for a brief moment over the invitation to sit on the bed next to her. But in the end he feels it would be like admitting that things have changed, if he pulled up a chair, like they needed to put a distance between them now... Only he doesn't want that. He also doesn't think it's necessary, regardless of how this talk will go. Their bond is something that can't be denied.

He sits on the bed next to her, facing her, looking into those beautiful blue eyes. Hearing her apology, he shakes his head.]

No. I should be apologizing for being stupid... and stubborn. I'm not angry, disappointed, or resenting you, I just came to confirm something.

Ran... could it be... by any chance there is, that you're... a little jealous?

[It sounded crazy when he spoke it out loud, but that was the only thing that made sense. It stunned him and admittedly freaked him, maybe even flattered him a little, but if he didn't think they could solve this, they wouldn't be having this talk.]

[ Rangiku's first and foremost instinct is to laugh and wave it off. Probably even say that she's not sure what she's supposed to be jealous of. The problem was, it was kind of blatant, wasn't it? Even she knew immediately that's exactly what it was.

So, instead of trying to pass it off, she smoothed her hand over the hem of her nighty with a soft sigh. If Sano was coming to her to talk this out, she owed it to him to be mature about it. But what could she say that would make it sound like she didn't want more than what either of them were willing to give each other? ]

I wish I could tell you no... But I can't say that and mean it.

[He nods, once, already expecting the answer. That however doesn't mean he has any idea what to do with it. But... it doesn't feel exactly bad. He smiles.]

Well... to say I'm disappointed would be a lie.

I do hold you in high regards, Ran.

[He has long ago accpepted the fact, that it isn't exactly indifferent to him what she does, or how she is and that it goes beyond friendship. But he made sure to control those feelings and be careful with them, because if they weren't equal in those terms, it would be the end of them. Sometimes he had to admit, he had felt strange, seeing Ran with other men than him, but those were her choices and he had no say in it. Not in the way they had been, so he had let it go. Maybe he should have acted upon it sometimes... Who knew? It was pointless to think about that now however.

Taking her hand in his, gently, without pplacing any pressure, or urgency on it, he focuses on the present again.]

The question is, what do you wish to do about it? We can try ignore it and go back to pretendiing nothing's changed, but I don't think either of us has the heart to keep it up. Ending it here is an option and if you decide to do so, I don't have the right to stop you, but...

[He doesn't want that. He doesn't say it, because it's not right to say it, but he makes sure she knows he'd regret it, by looking in his eyes. He takes a deep breath, before voicing the last option.]

And... there's always th eption of acting up on it. Let it linger See what happens.

The problem with that is, if we're ready for that. Whether we have the courage to take that step or not.

[Though he feels like their... relationship, if he may call it so, still needed a little time to mature before going over into that, he knows he wouldn't mind trying. See where it goes. But this was not his choice. The quaffle was in Ran's hoop now, not his.]

[ That was a hard choice to make and let her have the responsibility over. Both of them were free spirits, Rangiku a little more so, and stepping into an actual relationship frightened her. That's why their arrangement had seemed perfect and why her jealousy bothered her so much. She didn't sleep around with anyone else and she loved the attention Sano showered on her, but actually being tied to one person... How and would it be any different?

Something told her that if things didn't work out between them, they couldn't really go back. It would also break her heart. ]

Sanosuke...

[ Rangiku lifts her free hand, fingers delicately displacing some of his hair so that she could brush her fingertips against his cheek. How many times had she done that in another context? How many times had they sat this close with their playful banter and chemistry working for them?

If he was offering her something more, she wanted to take it... She's a gambling woman, just usually not with her heart. Perhaps that's what was causing the fear? ]

What are you saying exactly? I think I may need it spelled out for me to understand your intent. Are you offering to give us a chance?

[The tips of her fingers are warm and they tickle his skin. It's a familiar touch, yet it is completely new. He keeps on looking into her eyes as she caresses him, her warm touch sending small shivers down his back. In spite on being chase, the gesture feels intensely intimate and he angles his head, so that his lips brush against her fingertips as he replies, never breaking their eye contact.]

Yes. That's exactly what I'm offering.

[He turns his head to look more directly at her again and smiles gently.]

I can't say it's love yet... but I can't deny that I have feelings for you either. I like you in a way that goes beyond friendship... But I've always been wary of it, because I wasn't sure you felt the same. You don't have to take that offer It's not my intent to make you feel, like you have to give me something you can't. But I'm willing to wait, if you tell me to.

[ The tips of her fingers tingle with Sano's kiss, causing the corners of her lips to quirk up in a small smile. She can't help but think that was one of the sweetest gesture she'd ever gotten.

But it's everything he's saying that makes the wheels in her mind move. The thoughts that they instigate.

On one hand, if she gave in she knew a happy life could await her. Their chemistry and personalities meshed so well together, and they were amazing in the bedroom. On the other, she couldn't help thinking back to the night they had a spat and how much he badgered her to say something she didn't want to. If things went sour would it be like that? Was it worth risking heartache?

Rangiku hesitates, searching Sano's eyes for her answer. Whether it was okay to risk what they had for something they could have. ]

Then I think maybe I shouldn't be jealous in the future, so long as I know you're with me.

[A genuine, gentle and happy smile appears on his face, one that makes him look younger, for a moment almost like a teen and he brushes his knuckles softly against her arm.]

Is that a yes? Because I’ll stay with you then. And won’t look at anyone else again.

[Not that he actively had, he just… had a manner people liked to describe as flirty. Well, it was probably true. But to be honest, Ran has been the only one he’s been with for a long time now. He decides to tell her that.]

If it helps to ease your mind, there was nothing between me and Terra. Or Daphne. We’re just friends.

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[Closed] Realization (Sano & Ran)

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