imperturbatus | 4th throwdown

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4th throwdown | Monday

Classes/Hallways/Outside

[It really had been odd lately. Sousuke and Rin hadn't acted their normal way and it was really affecting Sousuke's mood. Mostly in the 'I'm not motivated to study' way, which showed in the way he just stared at forward, not really paying attention to what was going on.

It also showed outside classes as him wandering around the hallways and outside the castle, not really doing anything and looking like he'd be ready to start a fight or worse (even if he isn't, because he doesn't need more detention or a suspension in his life).

Really, he's not in the greatest of moods and it shows.]

Quidditch pitch; Closed to Adela

[Even if Sousuke was trying to win the Most Grumpiest Person in Hogwarts award, there was someone he wanted to talk to and apologize... maybe even explain the same thing he had for Rin, even if that would cause an emotional wreck.

He was waiting for the Hufflepuff practice to end and tried to catch Adela's attention as the team flew down, so that she knew that he wanted to talk with her.]

On the way to Detention

[Speaking of sour moods, Sousuke isn't very happy about this round of detention. Potions is by far his worse subject and having a week full of forced extra classes for it? It really, really sucks. There's nothing wrong with the potions teacher, he's a nice guy, but the potions itself? Just why.

Sousuke is wondering just how much trouble he'd get to if he just didn't show up. Actually, he's very tempted to test it. Worse that could happen was more detention, right? Especially when the people deciding were professors like Sano.

Of course he could be wrong and he'd be on the next plane to Japan. Then again, he's infamous for getting lost so he could always use that as an excuse since he's not thinking straight.

Well, at least he could turn around and take a detour and see what happens...]

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Does Sano know?

[ Of course she wouldn't say anything if he didn't, but... Well, it'd explain a few things if he did. Maybe she should have said that first. ]

You see... I've been muscle training lately, to work on upper body strength. Sano was really insistent on not letting me overwork myself though, worried that I'd get injured... If he knows, that might have something to do with it.

[ A beat, and she added. ]

It makes no sense that they wouldn't be able to heal it though. You remember I broke both of my legs by falling off of a broom? That got healed instantly, and it wouldn't be too much of a stretch if they could find a way to heal over-worked muscles too. It makes no sense that they don't know a way.

Yeah, he does. He's talked with me about it several times. It makes sense he would be worried about other students getting injures like I did.

[Sano has been a real help on dealing with it. After a small pause he quietly adds, almost as a whisper, his tone disappointed.] Rin knows too.

[It was really not something he had wanted Rin to find out about. That his shoulder was not healed like he had said. For what had he been lying for until that moment?]

It makes no sense, but that's the way it is. There's nothing I can do about it.

... This might be trying in vain but... Ask Sano about it, sometime. Maybe it is just me, but I have a hard time believing that an injury that persistent was caused by anything you'd do to yourself if it really can't be healed.

[ Rin knew too, huh? But it didn't make sense... Maybe she'd bring it up to Sano, ask if it was possible that it wasn't a natural cause. She'd probably keep it to herself though... At least, unless it turned out that it wasn't. She needed to know if Sousuke really couldn't pursue a professional career or not. ]

... So you're going to keep playing until you can't any more? Do I have that right?

[ That... That conclusion she's jumped to, she hoped Sousuke refuted it. That he'd tell her she was wrong. ]

We've talked about this a lot. He's been trying to make sure I'm managing fine even when I know I can't aim to become a professional anymore. So I doubt there's anything he can do about it either.

[It's clear that he's actually given up on even trying to find a solution for it and it shows in how he speaks about this. What's the point when all the answers would lead to the same solution?]

That's right. I plan on playing my fullest until the very end.

Don't give up until you've actually run out of options! If there really isn't a way then you've got to find that out for sure before you say that there isn't! You owe that much to yourself!

[ She caught herself before she could raise her voice too much, and she took a breath as she felt herself getting riled up. ]

Look, I... I won't forgive you if it turns out there is a way and you just ended up doing nothing because you gave up too soon, Sousuke. I want someone awesome out there in the pro league when I get good enough, all right? In the meantime, if it's not a game... Just don't do anything worse to it, all right?

I'll en up hurting myself more than physically if I don't give up. Even if I can handle a lot of stress and anxiety, that doesn't mean I'm invincible. I get hurt, whenever I hear that there's nothing they can do about it. There's a limit to how much I can take disappointment.

[It's not often he voices his feelings this way. Usually he ends up ignoring them for the same of dealing with them better. His feelings just had been on surface lately.]

You and Rin both. Why can't you understand that.

You wouldn't be in bloody Slytherin if it was just in you to give up before you've exhausted all of your options, Sousuke!

[ She felt her own emotions boiling to the surface once again, and now she knew - no matter how it might make him hate her - that she couldn't stop. Just like... ]

I've had to tell Rin this before too, you know.

I can't accept it. I can't accept it because by the house you're in I know better. Unless you actually don't want to be a pro, I can't accept that unless you've tried everything and it hasn't worked. Until you actually have, Sousuke. That includes exploring what might have caused your goddamn injury in the first place!

Edited (tense mixing) 2016-04-18 01:03 (UTC)

[Sousuke really wants to just back out from this conversation, because he's getting restless. He wants to fight and make the healers swallow their own words. A part of him hadn't given up on his dreams, but... he also made a promise to his parents; that the time in school would be his last with Quidditch. So even if he would find a a way to fix things. It was easier to just say there was no way to do anything than to get more hurt.

There was still a passion for Quidditch burning within him, but not giving up would be betraying his promise to his parents. It had always been more than just sheltering himself from getting hurt. It's just that he didn't want to drag his parents into his arguments.]

Maybe my desire to become a pro wasn't strong enough.

[ She's glaring then, unapologetic and searchign for something, anything, that might give her more room to argue - to push Sousuke into not giving up. It's really angering her to think that someone who helped pull her out of the proverbial fire more than once is like this, especially when it just doesn't seem right. ]

...

Then quit now, if that's how you feel about it. No sense in dragging it out further and wrecking your shoulder more, even if it is fun.

[Sousuke felt a small jolt at the suggestion of quitting right away. That's not what he wanted. There was no way he wanted to give up on Quidditch, even if it was for the rest of the school years.]

I can't do that. I've been hanging on to play until my graduation so I have no regrets. I can't quit now.

And is that fair to your team? To Rin? To have a beater who won't -- not can't, won't -- do everything he can to take care of his injuries and isn't able to play at his best ever again? All because he gave up on trying to find treatment that would work?

No, there's no sense in continuing like this, Sousuke. Find something else to do or put your best efforts into Quidditch in every sense of the word. Don't half ass it either way.

[At this point of the conversation, his usual declaration of doing his best even if he's injured and not holding back seem like it would be useless. Heck, even Sousuke's stopped believing in that with how much his pain had increased again.

Would he find a cure if he tried? A cure to let him play - in school and would be able to let him enter the professional circuit? Perhaps.]

Fine. You win, Adela.

[... but he was no longer going to the where the pros played. So what was the point? He'd only let them down by not joining the league even if he'd be cured and be the best beater in Hogwarts there was.]

I'll quit.

... If that's really what you want. It doesn't feel like I've won.

[ Finally her expression pulled into something less severe but... It was pained, in a way. She didn't want Sousuke to quit. She wanted to believe more than anything that he could pull himself out of this. That he just needed to keep trying.

But... Apparently Sousuke didn't have the same belief she did. If anything, it felt like she just lost. ]

[A part of him kind of wants to explain why he's so against finding better help when he's been made to realize that what's going on isn't really natural. Yet... it would just make people yell at him for whole different reasons wouldn't it?

Still, it's painful to see Adela look like she does.

Perhaps he should try to joke about it?]

Well, you did sort of help your rival team get rid of a extra weight. Maybe you didn't win, after all.

That's not what I meant.

[ He couldn't seriously think that... She pinched the bridge of her nose then, trying to hold back the upset that wanted to fill the hollow her anger had been in. She just... Didn't get it. ]

... What I did mean was telling you that I was looking forward to playing against you, Sousuke.

... I wanted to play against you too, but sometimes you don't get what you want.

Give Rin a hell though, yeah?

... Yeah. I'll try.

I'll let you go change. I need to take a moment to myself before heading back inside anyway.

... Mm. Take care.

[ Of course she wasn't happy with how things turned out. She had hoped that Sousuke would keep pushing forward, keep trying, not give up but... Great, now she'd have to explain that all to Sano too, once he's heard about Sousuke's decision to quit. Maybe Sano can help, he has the power and authority to... Maybe he can explain why the heck the best healers in the magical world can somehow do nothing about an overworked shoulder. ]

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4th throwdown | Monday

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