imperturbatus | 3rd mischief | The one where Hikaru is not his usual self

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3rd mischief | The one where Hikaru is not his usual self

A: Slytherin Dorms

[It would seem Hikaru is writing a letter in his thoughts. It's been a while since he heard the big news from Kaoru about him and Namine and he still... wasn't over it.

The letter has the words 'Mom, I think I'll come home after all' written all over it. It's something that's been on his mind. Kaoru has someone he likes now, Hikaru's not needed anymore. So he might as well go. But then what would he do?

Sighing, he makes the paper into a ball and tosses it to the trash can before moving to lay on his bed.]

B: Around

[Hikaru had mostly spent his days filled with studying which is what he normally avoids doing as much as possible. There's no sign of him wanting to prank anyone and it's easy for him to end up in actual fights because his temper is ticking off at wrong times.

Clearly something's not right with him. Since when did Hikaru spend time in the library or reading a book in the courtyard?]

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... Hikaru?

[ It's the library, and Adela is once again carrying several history books and a pile of newspaper clippings about events all over Europe. She sets them down at the same table he's at though, seating herself beside him and frowning thoughtfully because... He seems off. Really off.

She's also pretty damn sure this is Hikaru instead of Kaoru. Not that Kaoru doesn't study but... At this point, she actually doesn't know why she can tell off the bat, she just can. ]

Everything all right...?

[If Hikaru had been more in the mood, he would have tried going for the 'I'm Kaoru' route, but he's too tired and too hurt to actually do that so it would be believable even.

He raises his eyes away from the book he has for a moment, to look at Adela, before looking back.]

Everything's perfect.

Of course it is.

[ Hey she can do sarcasm right back at you, buddy. She frowns though, sighing and going back to her own books and such. However, she doesn't take too long before saying something else. ]

If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. I'm...

[ She pauses, feeling her face heating up a little but ploughing through. Embarrassment be damned, Hikaru needs to hear it. Lord knows she's told Kaoru the same thing more than once. ]

I'm still here if you wanna talk or not, okay? So you don't need to lie and say everything's okay when it's not.

[Hikaru does appreciate that Adela would be willing to listen, but he's bad at showing that so he keeps staring at his book, not even reading it - just staring.]

You wouldn't understand, so I don't want to bother.

If you want to try anyway then I'll listen. I won't tell anyone else -- not even Kaoru if you don't want me to.

[ She closes the book then, looking at him even if he won't do the same for her just yet. ]

Or, if you wanna talk about or do something else, it's up to you.

[The mention of Kaoru changed his posture to a more alarmed one and he looked away from the book, hiding his face with his hair. He wasn't saying anything.]

[ ... Uh oh.

She's starting to get a really bad feeling... ]

... This is about Kaoru dating, isn't it.

[ There is the question of how does she know that to be asked but... ]

[Once again there's a lot more tension in Hikaru at what Adela's saying before he looks up, looking half-hurt and half-annoyed.]

How do you know about that?

[ Shit.

She takes a moment before sighing, closing her eyes and turning away just a little from him.

Something in her is cold, fearful of how he'll react... Knowing that he may very well hate her after this. ]

Because he asked me for advice about someone he liked, a few weeks ago. I pushed him into telling that person how he felt.

[Kaoru asked...? Without talking to Hikaru first? The boy lowers his gaze for a while before getting up from his seat and looking at Adela.]

Why would you do that?! You should have told him to talk with me and not immediately push him to tell some outsider about his feelings!

[He's well aware that they're in the library, but he really doesn't care.]

... He was worried that someone else would say something first. So I told him to just speak up about it.

[ In stark contrast to Hikaru she's quiet, not meeting his eye at all. ]

Don't hate him for it. It's my fault, all right? I pushed, I made him do it.

I don't hate him! Stop assuming I'd hate him. I'm angry he only talked after confessing, but that doesn't make me hate him.

[He grits his teeth. There's no way he could hate Kaoru. It's not his twin he hates. It's not even Adela he hates, even if he is annoyed with her right now.]

You're mistaken. You all are. It's not Kaoru who's the problem here.

[The people around have started staring a long ago. After a small grunt, he begins walking away from the table.]

Just leave me alone.

[ She looked at him as he left, feeling cold and... Hurt.

This was all her fault. She wanted to ask, so badly she did but... She didn't really have the right to, not anymore. ]

... I'm sorry.

[ It was all she could say. She was pretty sure they were fighting now and it was because she was an idiot. How could she talk to either of them anymore?

Some friend she was. ]

[Kaoru had never told him if he wasn't happy, that he wouldn't do a thing and he had already figured his brother hadn't taken it well. So he had gone to the dorm room Hikaru was suppose to stay in and had since.]

Hikaru... [He moved close before leaning over to take a closer look at what he was doing, only to note the wording of the letter.]

Do...you hate me that much that you'd want to leave?

[Hikaru would have covered the letter had he been expecting Kaoru to appear behind him. Too late by the time Kaoru's already made his presence aware. Hikaru closes his eyes, avoiding to look at his twin for now.]

I don't hate you. I couldn't.

[His voice is quiet and he opens his eyes just to look at the letter he had started on. It's not like he ever intended to send it and... what would he do back at home.]

I just... don't want to be in your way.

[He still couldn't help but feel bad, and feel hated even when he said otherwise. Honestly, deep down he probably wanted to be if that would help anyone. He still sighs slightly as he goes to sit on the edge of the bed.]

Your not in my way. Your my most important person. If you had listened to me after I told you, I would have said if you weren't happy I wouldn't do anything. That's how important you are to me.

[Hikaru fidgeted a little at the words. His hands formed fists to stop them from shaking as he shook his head.]

I... don't want you to have anyone since I don't... but. [Hikaru finally looked at Kaoru. There weren't exactly tears in his eyes, but he looked more emotional than he had in a long time.] I don't want you to sacrifice your happiness for me! I'm weak and I need you, but I don't want to drag you down with me!

Edited (changed icon) 2016-03-16 23:48 (UTC)

[He smiled slightly, he figured Hikaru's reaction to be normal, he knew all this was at least a learning point, but yet at the same time Kaoru knew that he was as bad at clinging onto his brother than he was. Instead he moved to wrap his arm around him, pulling him in ever so slightly.]

I wouldn't be sacrificing anything, Hikaru. Sure we are expanding our world, but you'll always be the one person I care about the most. Your happiness is more important to me than anything.

[He laughed slightly.]

I hope you didn't think otherwise.

[Damn it Kaoru, he's trying to be at least a little strong here. Instead, Hikaru automatically clings onto Kaoru as he's hugged, sighing.]

I... was worried you'd might start thinking she's more important...

[It's embarrassing to actually admit that, but pretending otherwise really wouldn't help.]

... I don't... have anything against her. As long as you keep some time for me too.

[It was enough to cause Kaoru to laugh. It was quite amusing really, even if the other would not think so.]

Hikaru, we're in the same dorm and classes. Odds are I'll still spend more time with you than her. The only time I would have right now would be an hour or so a day.

[He wasn't going to bring up Summer just yet, but he knew full well they already had plans together, so he knew his time with his brother would still be there.]

[Yeah yeah, it's silly to be worried when they spend so much time together in general already, but he can't help it.]

... then date her. Don't let me be in the way.

I want to be sure if your okay first, you know I won't do anything until you are.

[Rin is on his way to his room, to fetch his DADA textbook, when the frustrated sigh from the neighbouring room stops his hand above the doorknob. Curious, he pokes his head in, knocking gently. There he sees his roommate's twin, lying on the bed and Rin could practically see the gloomy cloud raining and thundering above the guy.]

Hey. Are you alright?

[He tries to sound concerned, but honestly, those two were such bloody drama queens - not that he has room to talk, but. Ever since Kaoru had finally jumped over his shadow, Hikaru was acting like the world was ending.]

[Hikaru doesn't even give the visitor a glance, instead he keeps lying on the bed, facing the other way.]

Yeah, I'm fine.

[He might sound a little annoyed.]

[Rin eyes him for a moment, then sighs. Right, yeah. Right his ass. And thestrals were fluffy and pink.]

Yeah you only look like you're about to set something... or someone on fire. Look... why not be happy for him?

[Maybe they are, we can't see them.

Wha ... how many people already know about it? No, that's not important. Hikaru gritted his teeth and finally looked at Rin.]

Shut up! You don't even know anything about us, so you don't have the right to talk.

I have a sister as well, yanno.

[Rin says, completely unimpressed, then sighs again.]

And no, I don't have a twin, but... He's happy, right? Why is that bad?

[Kaoru had been fawning over Namine for ages, Rin doesn't think he had been that bad with Seth. ... Okay maybe he's worse. But still.]

It's not like you stop being brothers, when he falls in love.

It's not! It's not bad. This isn't about that!

[That's all he really wants to say before turning away again. Why do people keep thinking he's mad at his brother?]

No?

[Rin sits down on the edge of the bed.]

Then what is it about? You've been sulking ever since he started grinning like a goof.

[Like Rin grinned when he looked at Seth.]

What's your problem?

Why would you care?

[Such a mature answer, really. Hikaru just isn't in the mood for a therapy session.]

[That question makes Rin almost flinch. He averts his gaze for a moment, but then clicks his tongue. He really should stop taking the stupidest things to his heart, really.]

I think we're friends. And I don't know how about the corner you grew up in, but where I come from friends care. Besides, I'm rooming with your brother and when you two start fighting it's us who have to deal with his whining. So will you quit doing the pissy cat ad tell me what's wrong?

Why? I don't recall ever becoming your friend. Besides, Kaoru doesn't whine that much so your argument is invalid.

[That cuts. Rin's eyes widen for the fraction of a second, only to narrow a moment later.]

Oh yeah? Well fine then, have it your way. Stay unhappy and grumpy and stop talking to everyone, for all I care.

[He stands abruptly up and starts heading out of the room. If he's the only one who taught that way, there was no point in this. If Hikaru wanted to be the great drama queen, please.]

[Namine spends a lot of time in the library, more so with her O.W.L.'s come closer and closer. She doesn't expect to see one of the twins there, let alone Hikaru. He isn't acting like himself and if she hadn't drawn Kaoru so many times she might not have realized it was him.

She walks over slowly a book held tightly to her chest. She doesn't know Hikaru well but she's worried.]

Hikaru? Are you okay? You seem down.

[The last person Hikaru actually wants to talk to right now happens to be Namine. It's not that he hates her or anything - no, she's a nice girl and most likely he and Kaoru would be happy - it's just... hard for him to face her. Hikaru has never had anyone except Kaoru and he assumed the same went for Kaoru as well. Where did he fit in now?]

It's none of your business.

[That might have been said harsher than he meant to say it, but he's too out of it to care.]

[She's about to say something more when her lips snap shut. She understands why he's upset but at the same time she doesn't. She remembers telling Kaoru that his brother should come first; that's how her and Kairi have always been and she'd never do anything to disrupt that.

After his short comment she's at a loss of what to say.]

I'm sorry.

... what are you apologizing about? You make no sense.

You're upset.

[She doesn't want him to be upset or to feel pain. She doesn't know him as well as his brother but she considers him someone important. His happiness is important.]

Why would you care about that? I'm not Kaoru.

It doesn't matter. You're still you... your feelings matter too Hikaru.

[Her voice softens.]

I was just worried about you.

[Baldur was more than happy to laugh at other peoples misfortunes. This just happened to be one of those times he was glad someone was depressed, or sad... or any negative emotion, he didn't care which.]

What's got your goat?

[He doesn't sound at all concerned or anything. In fact he might be smiling.]

None of your business.

[From what Hikaru's seen, Baldur didn't seem like the most empathetic person ever, so really, the question is very much rejected.]

Okay, cranky. Won't be polite again.

[He wasn't but sometimes he was bored and just wanted to know things.]

But then again wallowing in self pity, can be quite entertaining, so keep it up.

Are you trying to win the Jerk of the Year reward?

Maybe. Someone has to be.

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3rd mischief | The one where Hikaru is not his usual self

B obviously

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Dorms (I decided it's time these two got some interaction)

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B: Around

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