[Yogi sighs, but it sounds more like a sob, and the gentle touch of the warm hand is all it takes to make him lean against Taichi, resting his head against his friend's shoulder. He knows not everyone is comfortable with physical contact, Gareki has told him that so many times already, but Yogi needs it now. He hoppes Taichi doesn't mind it too much...
All the gentleness in Taichi's words, all the support comforts him, because if he's completely honest, he doesn't know what he wants.]
I'm not sure I even want to know the truth. [He admits softly.] I'm so scared, Taichi... A month ago I didn't even know who my parents were and now I'm looking into their deaths. My foster parents don't tell me anything and I... I... If my mind forced itself to forget... How terrifying must it have been? And even if he acts like a despotic tyrant, I know that Hirato cares... He and Tsukitachi saved me and raised me, and I thought knowing that was enough... That's all that matters, to have someone who cares. I never believed it mattered, what happened in the past...
[Once he starts talking, it turns out he can't stop. It's a repeat of everything he's already told Gareki, but he still can't let it go, he still has doubts.]
And yet here I am, digging through old newspapers, in hopes of finding something I don't even know if I want... A part of me is scared, but another part of me... it craves to know what it is I can't recall. It's so confusing and... I... I thought I knew who I was, but would you look at that. I have no idea.
[Yogi gulps at the tightness in his throat, hiding his eyes in Taichi's neck, when his vision turns blurry. He should get himself together, he keeps telling himself, finally grow up and deal with it like a man, as Hirato would say. He sniffs, trying to breathe through it and apologizes to Taichi for dumping all of this on his friend.]
I'm sorry... I just... I feel so lost sometimes... I just thought... If Hirato doesn't tell me anything... And I can't remember, no matter how hard I try, digging through some old newspapers is better than sitting around and being depressed. But truth is, I don't really know.
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All the gentleness in Taichi's words, all the support comforts him, because if he's completely honest, he doesn't know what he wants.]
I'm not sure I even want to know the truth. [He admits softly.] I'm so scared, Taichi... A month ago I didn't even know who my parents were and now I'm looking into their deaths. My foster parents don't tell me anything and I... I... If my mind forced itself to forget... How terrifying must it have been? And even if he acts like a despotic tyrant, I know that Hirato cares... He and Tsukitachi saved me and raised me, and I thought knowing that was enough... That's all that matters, to have someone who cares. I never believed it mattered, what happened in the past...
[Once he starts talking, it turns out he can't stop. It's a repeat of everything he's already told Gareki, but he still can't let it go, he still has doubts.]
And yet here I am, digging through old newspapers, in hopes of finding something I don't even know if I want... A part of me is scared, but another part of me... it craves to know what it is I can't recall. It's so confusing and... I... I thought I knew who I was, but would you look at that. I have no idea.
[Yogi gulps at the tightness in his throat, hiding his eyes in Taichi's neck, when his vision turns blurry. He should get himself together, he keeps telling himself, finally grow up and deal with it like a man, as Hirato would say. He sniffs, trying to breathe through it and apologizes to Taichi for dumping all of this on his friend.]
I'm sorry... I just... I feel so lost sometimes... I just thought... If Hirato doesn't tell me anything... And I can't remember, no matter how hard I try, digging through some old newspapers is better than sitting around and being depressed. But truth is, I don't really know.